BRITISH POSTAGE STAMPED OUT

September 30, 2012

"Stamps are more than just pieces of gummed paper for pre-paying postage; they are miniature flags, representing countries all over the world. A country’s stamps make a statement about where they have come from and also an impression on whoever receives them. Treasured by many – from commoners to Kings – stamps are possibly the most widely collected item in the world."

Reading the above, from the British Royal Mail's website, one would think that Royal Mail really does love stamps. It goes further by portraying itself as the champion of philately:

"Royal Mail Stamps & Collectibles performs a small but unique role producing stamps that capture, commemorate and celebrate the nation’s events and passions. They act as a marker in time."

A load of codswallop! All we've had for the past few decades is the monotonous and ubiquitous queen's profile. What's worse, is that with time these stamps have been engineered to disintegrate at the mere sight of a stamp lover. So even if you are the type to be happy with little mercies... no chance! Try steaming one off (I usually cheat and stick my stamps in water) and all you're left with is shreds. I was so looking forward to the Olympics; not because I care that much about sports: it was the stamps I was excited about. What a let-down! The busy office I work in has been graced with a box for the recycling of envelopes by an eager environmentalist. A treasure trove for stamps, one would think, but after wading through all the hundreds of prepaid insults and the occasional jeering royal head, I was left with two decent British stamps: a summer's work.

On a few occasions, even during the Olympics, I've tried to embellish and add gravitas to my letters by affixing imposing stamps, but when I've asked the person at the post office desk for "pretty" stamps, I was simply looked at as though I was totally mad. So what happened to all those Olympian and Paralympian stamps they so boasted about? I expect that I may have to join some sinister lodge to be privy to them, or buy them from a stamp collector in Paraguay on eBay. A disgrace to Royal Mail and their empty claims.